Tis the Season

H: We have a Christmas tree. With lice.
Me: Lights.
H: With lights. And beautiful enjamints.
Me: Ornaments? The tree has lights and ornaments.
H: Yes, lights and ornjamints.

*****
H: Mommy, do you know the reindeer?
Me: I know the song about reindeer. Do you know Rudolph?
H: Yes, he a reindeer. And he is RED!

The Psychologist is In

H: (first thing she said this morning) Mommy, Daddy is grumpy. He told me to go to bed.

***********
Me: Who are Snow White's friends?
H: Harper. Harper is Snow Wipe's friend.
Me: And who is mommy's friend?
H: Umm...coffee is mommy's friend.
Me: Really?
H: And juice is Harper's friend.
Me: What about milk? Is milk Harper's friend?
H: Yes!
Me: What about water? Is water Harper's friend?
H: No, water is Ariel's friend. And she sings the "Ah-ahh-ahhhhh".

******
Seeing dinner on the table.

H: OH! It's the Be Our Guest dinner. It's beautiful!

One Line Wonder

Harper is perfecting her stand up routine by adding some awesome one liners.

H: I love green beans, they're beautiful. (bits one. chews. spits out.) I don't like green beans, they're dangerous.

*****

H: (telling Beauty and the Beast) And he falls in love with her because her dress is "lellow". Then they do the ring around the roses.

*****

H: Mommy, I can't walk - my mouth is tired.

*******

H: (after riding her bike) Daddy, I can't walk.

Daddy: Are your legs tired?

H: No, my hands are tired. My legs are happy.

*******

Mom: We're going to see Snow White at Christmas!

H: SNOW WIPE AT CHRISTMAS! Come on, mommy, let's go....we have to go to Christmas to see Snow Wipe!!!!

Mom: Honey, Christmas is a time and it's not now. We have to wait until Christmas.

H: NO, WE DON'T. WE CAN GO NOW TO CHRISTMAS!

Garbage is a Girl's Best Friend

We were reading a Snow White book at bedtime and this is the conversation about the pictures in the book.

Me: And who is this?

H: It's the seven dwarfs.

Me: What are they doing?

H: They doing the Hi-ho.

Me: Yep, they're at work, right? What is Doc looking at? (He is looking at a diamond)

H: That's the garbage. He's going to throw it in the trash.

Me: It's a diamond. It looks like mommy's ring.

H: (examines my ring) No, mommy, your ring is a mirror. A little, little mirror. (Points to the diamond in the book). That is not the mirror, that's the garbage.

(We continue the story)

Me: And Snow White fell into a very deep sleep. And then one day, who comes to see her?

H: A HORSE!!

Me: Well, yes, a horse and a prince. What does the horse do?

H: He gives her the kiss. (She then sticks her tongue out and licks my shoulder)

Me: Thanks, but I like people kisses, not horse kisses. What does the prince do?

H: He gives her the hug.

Me: And then what happens?

H: The end.

Parrot

H puts her arms around me and the Bean and says:
"I love my girls!"

Sometimes, it makes me so happy to hear her repeat what I say.


Other times....not so much.
H: Mommy, you need to do a chill out!

Mommy, the Dwarf

In the bathtub tonight:

H: Mom, I need my coloring.

(I hand her the bathtub crayon)

H: Thanks, mom, for the coloring. It makes me happy. And now I draw the green.

Me: What are you drawing?

H: A picture of Mommy.

Me: Is it happy?

H: No, it's Bashful.

******

When asked the names of the fish at her school....

H: Named Doc, and Sleepy, and Bashful, and Grumpy, and Dopey, and Bashful.

Happy Birthday, America!

Me: We're going to a big birthday party!
HD: It's my birthday.
Me: It's not your birthday. We're going to have a big cake.
HD: A big cake for my birthday!
Me: It's not your birthday, honey. It's America's birthday.
HD: America? No. I don't like America.

Fireworks

HD and the Bean liked the fireworks.

Here's the commentary for the parachuter with the giant flag:
HD: I see a plane in the sky. And look....it's a kite....A BIG KITE!
Me: That's a flag.
HD: It's a flag and the big kite!

And the Bean's commentary during the fireworks:
Bean: *blows raspberry*
Me: Do you like the fireworks, Bean?
Bean: *blows raspberry*, *coos*,*puts foot in mouth*

Family

H sits on the bed with me, her dad, and Baby J.
H: This is my family. I love them.

Cutest. thing. ever.

This morning, I sit down with H and Baby J.
Me: My two girls!
H: No, they my two girls. My mommy and my baby J.

Second. Cutest. thing. ever.

Going for a Walk

H: I want to go outside and wash the babys and do the sandbox and the stroller and the walk.
Me: We can only pick one of those things.
H: I want to do the outside and the wash the babies and the walk.
Me: How about we go on a walk and you can take your baby?
H: "Lay-a" (How she says "Yeah")
*******
At the end of our walk...
H: This is my house. We sit on the "gas" and watch the peoples do the walk and then we do the more walk. Ok, mommy?

My Name is.....

My Mom: She is very strong-willed!
H: I'm not strong-willed....I Harper!

Chocolate Icing

We like to cook things in our house. H was helping me make cake tonight and wanted to read the icing recipe to me (along with most of the cookbook).

Here is her recipe for icing:

H: We need the chocolate. First the chocolate. And then the chocolate milk.

Me: What about sugar?

H: Yeah...the sugar. And then more chocolate. And we stir. I see the butter.

Me: We're mixing it together.

H: I want to eat it.

Bathroom Art

Two recent episodes of bathroom art - both of the clean and dirty varieties....

In the bathtub:

H: I want to do the color, mommy. I need a picture.

Me: What kind of picture?

H: Of a spider. And Boots.

Me: Ok...here's a spider and a pair of boots.

H: NOT THOSE BOOTS. Make the Dora and her "pend" Boots. And Boots has the "liddle" boots. They red.

Me: Ok, Dora, Boots, and his boots. What else?

H: The spiders. And the mommy and the daddy. And the "liddle" spiders. They a family.

****

After pooping in the potty:

H: I all done Mommy. I get off the big potty. (notices poop). WHAT THAT?

Me: That's poop. You pooped in the potty.

H: (puts both hands on rim of toilet and looks closer at the poop). I MADE IT! That's a poop.

Me: Yep. Now wipe.

H: And I "plush" the poop. Bye, poop.

Wizard of Oz

The HD commentary during The Wizard of Oz:

Oh-no, where the doggie go? (Me: It's in the basket.) He jump out...he run down the road and find his mama.
That's a tornado. It's scary. Oh-no...where the doggie go?
It's a bubble! A PRINCESS (Me: That's the good witch). It's a pretty dress.
She sees the little peoples. And the big peoples. Lots of "powers" (flowers).
Oh no...and the "pire" (fire) and she is scary (Me: That's the wicked witch). Oh-no...where the doggie go?
She gets the pretty shoes!
(Me: What color is the road?) IT'S YELLOW! THE YELLOW ROAD!
They are dancing. Oh-no...where the doggie go? (Me: He's on the ground)
Apples! I see-a the apples.
Oh-no..he's stuck. They fixing him.
They in the jungle. Oh-no...they scared. It's a lion he says "Rar, rar". And he crying.
It's "powers"....lots of "powers"! Oh-no, where the doggie go? There he is. He sleeping. They go night-night.
I see a horsey.
(She hides her face during the Wizard part and says "He scary")
The lion is running. Oh-no, where he go?
The doggie in the basket. He getting out. The doggie is running - he goes away.
She in the big balloon. "I want to see my mommy and daddy". She go in the sky.
It's her mama! She sees her mama and daddy.

Princess Mama

HD saw my wedding portrait.

HD: That is mama. She wear-a the pretty dress. And look at the "powers" (flowers). And look-a at the hands. And what's that?
Me: It's my veil.
HD: The bell.
Me: What is on mama's head? (points to the headpiece)
HD: IT'S A CASTLE! It's pretty!

Food Groups

Me: (to the baby) Hey bean! (to HD) Are you my bug?
HD: Nooo....I not a bug.
Me: Are you my bean?
HD: Nooo....I not the bean.
Me: What are you?
HD: I A PICKLE!

Project Runway

On Fashion Design.....

HD dressed herself. Yes, the shirt matches, but only because I insisted she wear a shirt. Her preference was "No, shirt, mommy. I be "lake-ed" shirt." (trans: I be naked shirt).
Flower shorts, rainbow leg warmers, and "Princess Pan-dles".

Glee

Contributing to the duet...

Me: (singing "Hello" on the Glee soundtrack) I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. And I want to tell you so much, I love you...

HD: AND ME, TOO!

I guess that's her way of saying "Ditto"....and way to rhyme HD.

Cookie Monster

On personal appearance:

Me: Do you want a ponytail or a hair bow?
HD: I want a cookie.
Me: That's not an option. We need to fix your hair - do you want a silly pony or the hair bow?
HD: Nooooo.....I need-a a cookie. COOKIE!

The Future American Idol

HD sings. All. The. Time.

Her songs include:

HD: Tinkle, Tinkle witty star....How you are? Up above the word high....a diamond in the sky.

HD: Baby Ba-woooo-ga. Soooo Happy! With the mama - So Happy!

HD: ABCDEFG! Mommy....Mommy I sing the ABCDEFG.

HD: Pah-stee the No-man was a jolly, happy soul. Ka-Ka pipe and a button nose and two eyes they are the coal. Pah-stee the No-man!

HD: The ducks went out one day....over hills and Par away...Mama Duck say the "Quaaaack" and the ducks they-a-come back.

Other songs include Wheels on the Bus, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Down By the Station, Elmo's song and something about a Fire Truck (she does say "Tr"uck)

Down on the Farm

On Agriculture.....

Me: They planted corn in that field. Do you see it?

HD: I see-a the corn!

Me: What else do they plant out there?

HD: Mud.

Me: Well, they can't plant mud. What sorts of things can they plant in the ground?

HD: WATER!

*****

Me: We're going on a tractor ride to see Apple Blossoms.

HD: I see a tractor.

Me: That's right. What else do you see?

HD: Another Tractor!

Bunny Foo-Foo's Time Out

On lyric composition.....

Me: (singing) Little Bunny Foo-Foo hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice and patting them on the head. Down came the.....
HD: The Perry!
Me: Yep, the Fairy. And she said "Little Bunny Foo-Foo, I'll give you......(I hold up two fingers).
HD: TWO MINUTES!!!

Merry Un-Birthday

On special event recognition.....

(reading a book)
HD: It's a cake!
Me: That's right. They made a cake.
HD: It's my cake!
Me: It's a cake they are sharing at the picnic.
HD: No. It's my cake. For my birthday.
Me: It's not your birthday.
HD: My birthday is next.
Me: No, it's not. Pappy's birthday is next.
HD: Then, my birthday. (The declarative statement)
Me: No, then it's Daddy's birthday.
HD: Then, MY BIRTHDAY!
Me: No, we have other birthdays and Halloween and Christmas. And your sister's birthday. Then, your birthday.
HD: I WANT-A MY BIRTHDAY! I EAT-A THE CAKE!!! I need-a the choc-it. (chocolate)

We The People

On species identification....

Me: Are you a rascal?
HD: No.....I a people.

*********

Me: Are you a girl?
HD: "Lay-A" (This is how she says "Yeah")
Me: Is Mommy a girl?
HD: "Lay-A". And Daddy a Boy.
Me: That's right. Is Toby a Boy?
HD: Nooo...Toby a GOG.

Butter. And Dora.

At the dinner table.....

HD: I need-a more buttah! MORE BUTTAH.

Me: You have butter. It's on your bread.

HD: Not-a the bread. I need-a the buttah. On my preggels (pretzels).

Me: Eat your peaches.

HD: I NEED-A THE DORA. And the Boots.