Tis the Season

H: We have a Christmas tree. With lice.
Me: Lights.
H: With lights. And beautiful enjamints.
Me: Ornaments? The tree has lights and ornaments.
H: Yes, lights and ornjamints.

*****
H: Mommy, do you know the reindeer?
Me: I know the song about reindeer. Do you know Rudolph?
H: Yes, he a reindeer. And he is RED!

The Psychologist is In

H: (first thing she said this morning) Mommy, Daddy is grumpy. He told me to go to bed.

***********
Me: Who are Snow White's friends?
H: Harper. Harper is Snow Wipe's friend.
Me: And who is mommy's friend?
H: Umm...coffee is mommy's friend.
Me: Really?
H: And juice is Harper's friend.
Me: What about milk? Is milk Harper's friend?
H: Yes!
Me: What about water? Is water Harper's friend?
H: No, water is Ariel's friend. And she sings the "Ah-ahh-ahhhhh".

******
Seeing dinner on the table.

H: OH! It's the Be Our Guest dinner. It's beautiful!

One Line Wonder

Harper is perfecting her stand up routine by adding some awesome one liners.

H: I love green beans, they're beautiful. (bits one. chews. spits out.) I don't like green beans, they're dangerous.

*****

H: (telling Beauty and the Beast) And he falls in love with her because her dress is "lellow". Then they do the ring around the roses.

*****

H: Mommy, I can't walk - my mouth is tired.

*******

H: (after riding her bike) Daddy, I can't walk.

Daddy: Are your legs tired?

H: No, my hands are tired. My legs are happy.

*******

Mom: We're going to see Snow White at Christmas!

H: SNOW WIPE AT CHRISTMAS! Come on, mommy, let's go....we have to go to Christmas to see Snow Wipe!!!!

Mom: Honey, Christmas is a time and it's not now. We have to wait until Christmas.

H: NO, WE DON'T. WE CAN GO NOW TO CHRISTMAS!

Garbage is a Girl's Best Friend

We were reading a Snow White book at bedtime and this is the conversation about the pictures in the book.

Me: And who is this?

H: It's the seven dwarfs.

Me: What are they doing?

H: They doing the Hi-ho.

Me: Yep, they're at work, right? What is Doc looking at? (He is looking at a diamond)

H: That's the garbage. He's going to throw it in the trash.

Me: It's a diamond. It looks like mommy's ring.

H: (examines my ring) No, mommy, your ring is a mirror. A little, little mirror. (Points to the diamond in the book). That is not the mirror, that's the garbage.

(We continue the story)

Me: And Snow White fell into a very deep sleep. And then one day, who comes to see her?

H: A HORSE!!

Me: Well, yes, a horse and a prince. What does the horse do?

H: He gives her the kiss. (She then sticks her tongue out and licks my shoulder)

Me: Thanks, but I like people kisses, not horse kisses. What does the prince do?

H: He gives her the hug.

Me: And then what happens?

H: The end.

Parrot

H puts her arms around me and the Bean and says:
"I love my girls!"

Sometimes, it makes me so happy to hear her repeat what I say.


Other times....not so much.
H: Mommy, you need to do a chill out!

Mommy, the Dwarf

In the bathtub tonight:

H: Mom, I need my coloring.

(I hand her the bathtub crayon)

H: Thanks, mom, for the coloring. It makes me happy. And now I draw the green.

Me: What are you drawing?

H: A picture of Mommy.

Me: Is it happy?

H: No, it's Bashful.

******

When asked the names of the fish at her school....

H: Named Doc, and Sleepy, and Bashful, and Grumpy, and Dopey, and Bashful.

Happy Birthday, America!

Me: We're going to a big birthday party!
HD: It's my birthday.
Me: It's not your birthday. We're going to have a big cake.
HD: A big cake for my birthday!
Me: It's not your birthday, honey. It's America's birthday.
HD: America? No. I don't like America.